Up From the Ashes

“Failure should be our teacher, not our undertaker. Failure is delay, not defeat. It is a temporary detour, not a dead end. Failure is something we can avoid only by saying nothing, doing nothing, and being nothing.” – Denis Waitley

I have failed a lot. I have failed as a writer. I failed as a son. I failed as a father. I have failed as a game designer. I embrace my failures because from each of them arose a lesson which lead to my eventual success.

People in America are taught to fear and avoid failure. There is a stigma in popular culture that people who failed are called a “loser”.  Being labeled a “loser” can be crushing to one’s personal and social esteem. Heck, our current president uses the term all of the time.

I frequently see people that don’t engage in a new activity because they fear failure. I am frequently told by others at game conventions “I wish I could design my own game.” I always respond with encouragement to which I often hear the response “No. I would be no good at it.” or “My game would snot be as good as [insert game name here]” These types of responses fill me with sadness. I often think about the opportunities we have all missed because of our fear of failure.

So why am I standing up on this soap box ranting about fear? Because I subscribe to the belief that failure is not the end, but a lesson. It is something I somehow adopted in my teen years. This belief led to to creation of my latest design, Rise of the Gnomes.

Back in 2006 I created a crazy area-control game called STD where each player was a sexually transmitted disease fighting over the body of of a sailor on shore leave. The theme of the game, although a bit tasteless, was very enticing.

These guys are so cute!

I designed an automated player to represent medication eradicating the players from the game board. No dice were used to determine the outcomes of conflict. There were multiple strategies and ways to win. The game mechanics were solid.

Everybody started in the crotch!

I started to play-test SDT and it did not work. Something felt wrong about the game. It was not fun. The mechanics were way to heavy for the light and humorous theme of the game. Universally it was not liked (some hated it). I did what I always do with my countless failed designs, I saved the files in my non-active design graveyard on my file server. I planned on returning to the design again in the future.

Every design I have ever made begins with my desire to play a game which does not exist. Five years ago I got the itch to design an area control successor to Dragon brew that could be played cooperatively or competitively. I wanted a game where the Dragon is back and the Gnomes were uprising throughout Brumancia. I took out my pencil and notepad in bed and created a wish list of things I wanted in the game.

I woke up the next morning with a thought about how STD, my old design , had many of elements I was looking for in my new design. I downloaded and reviewed my old STD files. I was once again reminded how fun the game could be. Imbedded in my nine year old failure, I discovered the foundation for my new design, Rise of the Gnomes.

This time the theme and mechanics meshed well. The game was fun right out of the gate. Three years of playtesting later, Dragon Brew: Rise of the Gnomes is finally ready for 2021.

I have at least two dozen failures on that server and I am proud of each and every one. I look forward in using those lessons for my future designs. I hope those of you who have the desire to design your own game, cast aside the fear and embrace your own failures.